Sunday, January 23, 2011

That was a close call....

There I was today at the mall shopping. I was on my way back to find my mom so I could drop off some bags in the car or at least my coat. It might be two degrees outside but when you shop somewhere like the mall, you can get pretty hot.

Only two people ahead of me that were walking, was the former crush. Did I freak out? Nope, but I did rush past him. Luckily I had my phone next to my ear and I was calling my mom at that moment so if he did see me and wanted to say something, I could shrug my shoulders and continue my phone conversation with my mom.

Of all the former crushes in the world, he is not the one I want to run into. He was the worse to put me down. It took me forever to get over him and to realize what a jerk he was.

As soon as I was off the phone with my mom, I had to text my best friend. And of course because she is my best friend, she felt the same way I did.

The rest of the time at the mall, I think I checked every corner.

I knew the time would come when I would see him. For so long, I thought I was good. I had luck on my side. Well not today. Now I'm wondering. Did I change my luck? Will I see him again? What would I say? Here is hoping, I never find out.

On the brightside, his personality? Help me creative one of my characters.

To this day, I still think of him when I hear this song...

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Who can you trust?

There are days where I wish I could just be myself around my friends. Yes, they are my friends but we all have our secrets. We keep stuff locked away and we pretty much take the key and throw it away so no one can ever find it.

It's the one thing we fear. What will happen when they discover the truth? Will they go, "that's great!" or "are you serious?"

My friends and I were talking about someone. Someone who is very nice but at the same time, they have their moments like we all do. One friend said a comment and my other friend laughed. What do I do? I sit there and watch the world go by and act like I'm into the conversation.

If I made any type of comment, my secret might have slipped out. I haven't known these friends for a long time or we don't have the type of friendship I would tell them my life story. You know who those friends are. They are great people I get along with and they do know certain things about me. They even know my personality.

There is just the one thing I only trust a couple friends with. I never have to fear they'll go behind my back and gossip about it. They are understanding about it. When something comes up that makes me want to lean on their shoulder? They will lean their shoulder over to me. They also know I will keep their secret inside where no one can get to it.

I do have to wonder though. Why can't we trust all of our friends? Why can't we look into their eyes and see that they'll keep us safe. That maybe they won't go behind our backs and stab us. Is it past experiences? Maybe it's the times we live in. It could even be that feeling you get in your gut that just won't go away.

Either way, I'm glad for the friends I have that I know I can trust with my life. They will be the ones who catch me as I fall.